When a child refuses to go, the school counts absences and the law counts what the parent did. This page covers only the paperwork side: documenting, coding absences correctly, asking for meetings in writing, and what not to sign blind.
A plain line, so there is no confusion: this site does the paperwork side, not the therapy side. Nothing here is therapy, diagnosis, or treatment, and nothing here replaces care from a qualified professional for your child.
Start a dated, factual log today. For each morning, write what happened, what you did, who you contacted at the school, and what they said. Keep copies of every note you send.
This log is not busywork. In Florida, showing the parent made a bona fide and diligent effort to keep the student in school is an affirmative defense under §1003.27(7)(a)2. In Illinois, liability under 105 ILCS 5/26-10 turns in part on knowingly and willfully permitting the absence — a dated log answers that element by showing what you tried.
On the day of an absence, follow your district's reporting method, then confirm in writing: the date, the reason, and any supporting paper, such as an appointment note.
Know what your state excuses. In California, an absence for illness, including an absence for the benefit of the pupil's mental or behavioral health, is excused under Education Code §48205(a)(1). In Texas, a temporary absence for an appointment with a health care professional, including a mental health professional, is excused if the student starts classes or returns to school the same day as the appointment, under Texas Education Code §25.087(b)(2). In Florida, the list of excused absences is defined by district policy under §1003.26 — ask for that policy in writing if you do not have it. In Illinois, students are entitled to five mental health days with no medical note required, under 105 ILCS 5/26-1, with a chance to make up work.
If an absence is coded unexcused and you believe that is wrong, dispute the code in writing within days, not months, and attach your proof.
A short email creates the meeting. Write: “I am requesting a meeting to discuss my child's attendance and a plan for return. Please give me times, who will attend, and what to bring. Please reply in writing.”
After any meeting, send a same-day email: what was agreed, who does each step, and by when. In Florida, the child study team process in §1003.26(1)(c) includes written recommendations within seven days if the family does not attend — ask for them if you miss a meeting.
Do not sign an attendance contract, plan, or withdrawal form at the table without reading it at home. Check names, dates, counts, and every promise it says you made. If it says you refused services you were never offered, note your correction in writing.
In Illinois, that caution has a legal reason. A “truant minor” under §26-2a is a chronic truant to whom supportive services were provided and failed, or were offered and refused, and §26-12 bars punitive action before supportive services. What the paper says about services offered or refused can change the legal label. Read it as if a judge will — because one may.
Route it to the paper trail: a written bullying report with dates, a dated incident log, and a written request for the school's response and policy. Keep the bullying and attendance papers in the same folder, by date.
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Rules checked October 2026 — every rule on this page is cited to its source. Verify day counts against your district's official calendar.